The Things You Find When You're Not Looking

It's funny what you can find when you aren't looking for it.  Take this next article that I found today as a "for instance" which was written on July 1st 2011.  I wasn't expecting to find it but I do remember what was going on around the time I wrote it.  I was a week away from launching my debut album and after losing my aunt to heaven in late May I was in need of something positive.  I must have felt truly blessed when I wrote this.  I still do feel rather fortunate given that back then I did not know how very different my life would be 18 months down the track.  So here it is.  I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did when I rediscovered it.  

Love........

Love, even fleetingly can be good for the soul. Who says that it has to be forever? Who says it has to be textbook?  If the two people are happy with the situation they have then it’s fine.  There is only a problem when one wants more than the other can give, and demands it.  Love can cause pain yet it is a sweet one that gives a meaning to living.  True living happens when we feel, no matter what the feeling is.  If we deprive ourselves the gift of feeling we emanate a wall that people walk away from.   It’s perceived subconsciously as too much effort for potentially little gain.  Yet, if we open ourselves to love in one way perhaps we are setting ourselves for finding the lasting and realistic love we crave and deserve.  No instant however small is a waste of time.  Loving another does not mean you will share every moment, but loving another can open you up to a whole new world of opportunity within your own reality.  Love is always wanted and can always be found; we just need to have our receptors ready to take it and embrace it for the joy it brings.

Susan 

July 1st 2011 

 

Rebuild and Give to Yourself

I used to be one of those people who detested the whole concept of going to a gym to exercise.  For me the time spent in a place where there was more sweat than air was just wasted.  I preferred to do something else like read a book under a tree in view of the ocean or recline to enjoy my favourite movie on the couch.  I tried a number of times to go to gyms, even to the point of paying a full year’s membership and then hating every minute of the gawking from the men and the stink eye from any women.  Then about 18 months ago I started having a rough time.  I was under extreme and unrelenting pressure in my workplace and nothing seemed to help redress how badly I was feeling.  Around the corner was a personal training business.  At first I thought the money I was going to spend was outrageously expensive. So I sat down and worked out a way for me to afford a twice a week trip to the joint.

Then I began my journey.  In all honesty I was a non-believer when it came to exercise making a difference to my life.  It’s not that I have been a couch potato and it’s not that I haven’t felt moments of great physical health in general.  In this case what I was inadvertently doing was protecting and healing both my body and my mind at the same time.  I never realised the link between the two.

It took me a long time to gain the courage to walk away from that job.  The exercise programme I was doing with my personal trainer became a therapy session for my brain too.  When I began to have successes and feel my body changing it freed up my mind to de-stress itself and start with fresh hope each week.  When the constant pain I had in my shoulders began to fade I felt relieved.  Tuesdays and Thursdays I would duck round straight after work and begin my de-stressing sessions with my personal trainer.  She taught me more than good posture and proper technique.  She showed me I was worth more than I thought I was.  I discovered an inner strength that I never knew I had.  Here was I a broken down human ( physically, mentally and, emotionally) who was essentially rebuilding herself.

Today most people will say they find me confident and fun to be around.  Nice contrast to how I used to feel.  My body is not cramped with stress and neither is my mind.  I’m no longer held by the shackles of a dysfunctional work environment and I am beginning again in a new state, city and home.  I’m so very happy now; really happy.  I’ve found a new gym, this time I’m in good company.  There are genuine people who, like me, are looking for ways to keep healthy and stay sane.  It’s like a small family and the owner/trainer of the gym knows everyone’s name and is always around to help when you need it.  I call my sessions “fun with Jack” which I think he really loved to hear.

If you find a gym you love or an exercise you like then don’t let yourself talk you out of it.  Find a way to budget so you can give to yourself every week and you’ll find a whole new perspective you never thought you had.  Did I mention I am taking up belly dancing again?  Oh, I’m also taking up salsa and rock n roll classes too now that I have someone to dance with  :)

One Fine Day

 Songwriting is like any art and sometimes there are gap times where life is too busy or full to slow down enough to listen to the songs that are coming in.  Below are some new lyrics that came to me this moring when I was walking down the street contemplating the moment.  I hope to bring you a demo of the song once I finish the arrangement.  It's more "poetry to music work in progress" at the moment.

enjoy

S xx

One Fine Day

©Susan Lily 21.03.2013

One fine day, you’ll awaken from your past

It will fade away,

And you’ll realise there is a, brand new way

You’re not the person you were yesterday

One fine day, there will be more smiling

With, no regrets

Everything that’s happened will just fade away

In the dawn you’ll chase away the grey

One fine day, all that it is desired

Is a dream come true

Turn around it’s waiting there, just for you

It’s warm inside and genuine and true

Employment and Identity

I’ve been without a job now for 8 weeks and it’s the longest I’ve ever not held a job of some description.  It’s an interesting time for me even though I’m in a new city and it’s all very exciting.  I’m feeling somewhat “lost” and my identity as a working professional has taken a left turn somewhere when I took a right.  I can totally understand people who are long-term unemployed and frustrated beyond belief.  All most people want is gainful employment: a chance to shine and to feel like we are adding value to where we are working.  

It used to be a male dominated realm, “work pride”.  With the changes in society women like me have spent the decades post-education doing the same thing as men: going to work.  To feel a sense of pride and achievement is reachable now by both genders.  To suffer an identity crisis because you don’t have a job to go to is just as devastating to a woman as it is to a man.  So many women have grown up financially independent and to find you are unable to care for yourself financially is not something that sits easily.

Like any experience it’s one to embrace and move on from.  I will, in time, find work.  I am happy to take on any job that will have me and give me the finances to get back on my feet.  I am also very fortunate to have an understanding partner whose generosity is real and genuine.  That’s been one of the more pleasant side effects of these last few months.

So when an unemployed female friend tells you they feel lost and like their identity has been stolen believe them and be the friend you would be to your mates.  You’ll score more brownie points than you will ever use.