The Fragility of Childhood

There’s a little part in everyone that represents the fragility of childhood.  Mine is running at me right now telling me it’s hard to believe that I have come this far.  Yet I have come a long way since the days when I was picked on at school for wearing spectacles and being too quiet (yeah, I’ll bet that part will be hard to swallow but it’s true).  Tomorrow night I will attend something that I’ve never been to before and it’s a little hard to believe that one of the reasons I’m invited is because people chose me to be a finalist for an award.  Am I happy about that?  Yeah, it’s brilliant!!!  Yet the little shy girl with glasses is sitting here at the moment tugging at my sleeves. She's reminding me of the many times I danced around my bedroom wishing that I was a popstar.  The many years I spent either not singing or singing off key in public in case I hit a bum note and somebody laughed at me.   She’s hopeful that I will be more liked than she was and that I will have lots of fun.  She wishes me well and says that just being a finalist is better than being bullied at school.  She’s so right.

I’m going to have a lot of fun tomorrow night for both of us.  I just know it :)

Boxes of Dreams

My CD’s arrived yesterday; all 1000 of them.  I’m not sure what the delivery guy thought of my excited ramblings as we took them all to the car.  The feeling was a little bit surreal, like waiting for a baby to arrive and then holding it and watching it and wondering how real it truly is.  The boxes this lovely man was helping me with contained 4 years worth of work and a lifetime’s experiences.  Amazing really how you can condense something to mere boxes.

Inside are multiple clones that represent hours of songwriting, vocal training, studio time and money saved.  They are the finished product of a team of dedicated people and a more grateful girl you won’t find.  From the artists who gave up their time to contribute to my recorded songs to the guys at the replicating factory who carefully put together the artwork with the pressed CD.  There’s the team who took delight in creating the artwork, the friends who eagerly took photos of me and the wonderful man who took on the role of producing my debut album.  These individual cases of music and artwork contain more than a physical being.  They represent the most fabulous thing that’s happened to me yet. 

On Saturday a bunch of really lovely people and I will take to the stage in celebration of this event.  The musicians I will be surrounded by are true friends and I will always be grateful they decided to join in my craziness.  The audience will be a mix of family and friends and I’m probably going to have a sookie lah lah moment or two knowing they all came to spend their valuable time with me. 

Yeah, these boxes look like regular ones, yet it’s these boxes that will potentially assist me in becoming a more recognised part of the music industry and help me to fulfil a promise I made to myself.

They are my boxes of dreams.

Susan